“What can I say. I’m just a happy drunk,” he said.
For the cadets, it was all business. Officers had us blow into a breathalyzer when we arrived to make sure no one had started the party early. We were tested again after two hours of drinking and again at the end of the exercise. That score was hidden from the cadets. Working in teams of three, they tested each of us. They ranked our abilities and made notes about our statements.
“How much have you had to drink?” they said to me. “How old are you? What’s your date of birth? What did you have to drink? When was the last time you had anything to drink? When did you have your first drink?” That one threw me. “Today, or when I was a teenager in 1973 and Steve Creger showed up at my house with a six-pack of Budweiser and a box of crackers?” I said. They didn’t laugh.
For the record, my breathalyzer registered .088 two hours into the experiment. Two hours after my partying ended, it dropped to .052. (State law says .08 is prima fascia evidence for a driving under the influence charge and .06 for a driving while impaired). All five teams that tested me opted to make the arrest. Fortunately, for me, it was all just a test.