The Norman Transcript

Columns

July 13, 2013

Delving into hobbies

NORMAN — Some hobbies provide unusual experiences. Human storytelling enlarges them more.

Ward and his fiancee wish to be married skydiving.

Megan and Ward open the airplane hatch to get ready. Ward’s friend, the minister for their ceremony, now sees how far he is from the ground and begins to sweat.

Megan and Ward jump. The preacher closes his eyes and follows, but his parachute accidentally opens. Worried, he grabs the straps. His papers go floating away.

“Oh, no!”

Ward lip syncs, “What now?”

“I’m OK,” the minister shouts. “Here goes the ceremony ... Mumble, mumble, mumble, do you, Megan, take Ward to be your husband?”

Confused, Megan pulls the ‘chute cord sooner. “Yes!” she shouts, wobbling in the air.

“Ward, how about you?” the preacher shouts.

“Yes!”

Megan and Ward embrace while floating slowly downward.

“What did all that ‘mumble’ stuff mean?” Ward says to his friend later.

“I lost my notes. But I said all the words plainly in my heart.”

Some try spelunking.

“Lillian insisted we try the cave thing,” Mat tells his work buddy, “but it wasn’t for us.”

“What happened?”

“Well, it turns out I’m allergic to things that live in caves.”

“You mean bats?”

“I mean bats, bears or robbers or anything else that flies, walks or crawls.”

“You’re afraid, then.”

“I prefer ‘allergic.’”

Others relax by hiking and mountain climbing. Mary and Dave love gazing down into a valley from a mountaintop.

Mary hesitates sometimes.

“I’m afraid these rocks are a little loose.”

She backs away from the ledge.

“Don’t be chicken,” Dave teases. He continues to point out scenes below.

In the gathering darkness, a large figure appears on the trail.

“Bear!” Mary screams.

Dave recovers nicely from his fall off the cliff. His dignity is left intact by the claim he saved Mary from a bear. They’ll never know the “bear” was a game warden coming to tell them the park was closing.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Columns
  • Norman Forward builds momentum

    The quiet campaign to build momentum for a citywide public works project is beginning to attract some attention....

    July 20, 2014

  • Tax those trees out of here

    I read your editorial “Pesky red cedars” in the Norman Transcript of Tuesday, July 15, 2014. I have attended two meetings where the problem of the eastern red cedar trees was discussed. Because of the drought conditions in Oklahoma, we ...

    July 20, 2014

  • Make gun safety a health issue

    Quick, are you more likely to die by a bullet or in a car crash? Common sense would seem to suggest the latter. Cars are everywhere. We are an auto-obsessed nation. To be American is to drive — everywhere. Teenagers itch to get behind the ...

    July 20, 2014

  • They just want to be free ... maybe

    Massoud Barzani, president of Iraq’s semiautonomous Kurdistan region, rattled many cages this month when he announced in parliament that the KRG would be moving ahead soon on a referendum on independence from Iraq. If Kurdistan goes ahead ...

    July 20, 2014

  • Congress must accelerate solutions

    Congress has roused itself, at the last minute, and now is scrambling to save the Highway Trust Fund. Better late than never. Better still will be if lawmakers agree to come up with the money to prevent the fund from becoming insolvent. ...

    July 20, 2014

  • The heavy burden of college aid

    Return on investment is a clear measure of what you get for your money. Incredibly, the federal government doesn’t apply that simple concept to the $137 billion a year it spends on college financial aid....

    July 19, 2014

  • James bears weight of Cav’s dreams

    LeBron James has done it all on a basketball court. He’s a great scorer, rugged defender, proven big-play leader and champion. But that might not be enough in Cleveland, where he’ll also need the powers of Merlin the Magician....

    July 17, 2014

  • Steve Boaz.jpg Breathing Rhythm Studio a center for creativity

    Recording engineer Steve Boaz has brought his musical ambitions to fulfillment in a downtown Norman studio.

    July 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • Matt Lauer is so last century

    How about we rename “The Today Show” the “Yesterday Show” since host Matt Lauer asks questions from 1953? Isn’t what Lauer asked GM CEO Mary Barra about whether she’ll do “well” at being simultaneously an executive and a mom about, oh, 30 ...

    July 14, 2014

  • Religion’s role shrinking

    Surveying the response to last month’s Hobby Lobby decision, I was struck by a comment from progressive Massachusetts senator and possible Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren....

    July 12, 2014