The Norman Transcript

Columns

July 15, 2013

Obama’s latest scandal? Broccoligate

NORMAN — Enough is enough.

He has done a lot of things in the past five years or so, but this time President Obama has gone too far.

Forget about trying to turn us all into socialists or communists or fascists or any of those other “ists.” Forget about that whole embassy attack stuff, the IRS flap, the spying, the targeting of reporters.

That stuff is just child’s play.

Now, we finally have something to nail Obama with. Now, we can dust off those “Impeach Clinton” bumper stickers and — to save money — cross out “Clinton” and write in Obama. (Although, to be safe we might want to leave some of the “Impeach Clinton” bumper stickers in case Hillary gets elected in 2016.)

So what has our president done to warrant impeachment?

He told a group of children journalists that his favorite food is broccoli.

I know!

First, in response to those of you who are thinking, “But Mike, isn’t the term ‘children journalists’ redundant?” I have to say, “Yes it is.”

Second, most right-thinking Americans are thinking: “Broccoli? Are you kidding me?”

That’s what I think, too!

Many, many years ago — long before I met my current wife — I was watching a football game on TV with a girl I was dating.

Before I go any further I need to say that, once again, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Uh, Mike, did you really mean to refer to your wife as your ‘current wife?’ Won’t that get you into trouble?”

All I can say is, “Holy (bad word), did I do that? What was I thinking? What I meant to say was ‘my one and only wife.’”

But back to my story. About an hour into the football game this girl said she was going to the grocery store and asked if I wanted her to pick up some snack food. I said that I did.

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