The Norman Transcript


January 20, 2014

The Super Bowl may be in peril

BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

The NFL revealed the Super Bowl will be guarded by four thousand federal and local cops . Everyone entering the stadium must pass through a facial scanner that identifies known and suspected criminals. We will be lucky if we end up with two teams out on the field.

Downton Abbey began its fourth season Sunday about British aristocrats a century ago who lorded it over their servants. It’s galvanizing. On the morning after each episode, the Republicans come to Capitol Hill more focused on their goals and willing to fight for them.

American Hustle was the favorite to win the Oscar for Best Picture over Twelve Years a Slave. Put yourself in the mind of the Academy member. Shaming America over race is a great movie theme and usually wins the Oscar, but Baby Boomers were only young once.

The Vatican lowered the price of sainthood nominations Thursday which is about one million dollars. It’s a beautiful faith. In the Catholic world a million dollars can get you nominated for sainthood, but in the Protestant world that might barely get you into Congress.

Duck Dynasty returned Wednesday a month after Phil Robertson caused a furor with anti-gay remarks in an interview. He’s contrite. Phil likened gay sex to bestiality, but the next day he felt so badly about what he said that he apologized to the bestiality community.

Justin Bieber’s home was swarmed by cops after neighbors reported he and his friends threw eggs at their house. The cops found Bieber’s house was full of coked up, hung-over, egg-throwing low-lifes. When he moves, the house will be made into a Denny’s for continuity.

The Senate and House agreed on a trillion dollar U.S. budget Tuesday. Many Democrats stood on the floor of Congress and demanded a surtax on Wall Street bonuses but they were shouted down. It’s the kind of punitive tax that could drive our best people out of fraud.

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