The Norman Transcript

Columns

September 1, 2013

Parliament keeps funny hours

BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

President Obama hadn’t decided if the U.S. will strike Syria Thursday. He wants to launch a  strike in the middle of a civil war that won’t overthrow the dictator but will change his behavior. Problem is, he forgot to renew his Magician’s Union card after getting re-elected.

The British Parliament rejected the use of force against Syria Thursday. The House of Commons meets at six o’clock at night and stays in session until two in the morning. It’s the first legislature in history and, to this day, the only one that keeps comedians’ hours.

Joe Biden  declared Tuesday that Syria must be held accountable for using chemical weapons. Now it’s suspected al-Qaeda staged the attack to reel in the U.S.  If America’s options were a horse race, The Devil You Know would be thundering down the backstretch.

Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel was suspended by the NCAA for the first half of Saturday’s game. They suspect he took cash to autograph jerseys. The NCAA issued a statement warning that this is what happens when a college player is taught how to write.

The NFL agreed to pay seven hundred million dollars to treat retired NFL players for  memory loss due to concussions. Just last week O.J. Simpson was reported playing for the Aryan Nations prison softball team. Tell me this man doesn’t need immediate attention.

Labor Day is celebrated Monday with picnics and family get-togethers The holiday’s original meaning has been watered down over the years. Republicans today have no desire to honor organized labor while Democrats give each other work clothes as gag gifts.

North Korea’s dictator Kim Jung Un executed a former girlfriend by firing squad last week  with eleven other actresses. They were caught distributing Bibles and  porn videos of themselves. It’s overwhelming evidence they were agents of American influence.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Columns
  • Sign petition to put shelters in schools

    Every successful grassroots initiative requires a plethora of volunteers who are willing to do whatever it takes, and the movement to build storm shelters in every Oklahoma public school is no different....

    August 2, 2014

  • Congress should close gaps

    Of all of Edward Snowden’s revelations about electronic surveillance by the National Security Agency, the most unsettling was that the government was accumulating vast numbers of records about the telephone calls of American citizens. In ...

    July 27, 2014

  • Border obsession overlooks trade

    Texas Gov. Rick Perry made headlines recently by ordering 1,000 National Guard troops to the border. This bravado comes at a price: $12 million a month. Perry plans to send the bill the federal government. That’s one way to finance your ...

    July 27, 2014

  • Intercession badly needed in this world

    Yesterday was my feast day, or as the Italians call it, my “onomastico.” Since I live in the United States, it went completely unnoticed. If I lived in Italy, however, I would have been showered with cards and phone calls. That’s because ...

    July 27, 2014

  • Porch leap looked muchbigger as a kid

    It’s no secret that porch designs have changed over the years. Drive through new Norman developments and look at the porches. Most only have room for a potted plant and a spot to drop those UPS packages, no place for a porch swing or ...

    July 27, 2014

  • Keeping the war buried

    International outrage over the downing of a Malaysian passenger plane over Ukraine on July 17 does not appear to have affected either the actions of pro-Russia forces in that country or the material support Russia is offering the rebels. ...

    July 26, 2014

  • Gaza’s victims: civilians and peace

    After more than two weeks of fighting between Hamas and Israel, there is no question which side has the upper hand. Thursday’s strike on a U.N.-run school for Palestinian children increased the Palestinian death toll to more than 760. By ...

    July 26, 2014

  • Norman Forward builds momentum

    The quiet campaign to build momentum for a citywide public works project is beginning to attract some attention....

    July 20, 2014

  • Tax those trees out of here

    I read your editorial “Pesky red cedars” in the Norman Transcript of Tuesday, July 15, 2014. I have attended two meetings where the problem of the eastern red cedar trees was discussed. Because of the drought conditions in Oklahoma, we ...

    July 20, 2014

  • Make gun safety a health issue

    Quick, are you more likely to die by a bullet or in a car crash? Common sense would seem to suggest the latter. Cars are everywhere. We are an auto-obsessed nation. To be American is to drive — everywhere. Teenagers itch to get behind the ...

    July 20, 2014