The Norman Transcript

Columns

December 20, 2012

Never a doubt with Christmas presents

NORMAN — Problems with the choice of a right gift seem familiar this time of year. Doubts arise, along with the wrapping.

Lillian’s husband thinks she’s too late to doubt her choices.

“I kind of thought you might have made a different decision yesterday,” he tells her. “That was before you wrapped those gifts.”

“I know. After some thought, I’m shifting them around. The expensive bracelet, we’ll give to June who loves jewelry. Your sister, who never wears jewelry, would prefer the neat towel set. Don’t watch me. Go make the cookies. I need to think about the other gifts.”

Ira, too, is a doubter. He faces his wife over the computer and ponders a decision: “The table tennis I ordered for the kids — do you think it will arrive on time?”

“What did the company promise?”

“Well, you know, they guarantee satisfaction with the set, but not with the holiday mail.”

“Did you call the company?”

“I did, but I kept getting a recording that said try another number. I think they must have made up a few for the holidays, so I gave up. Maybe I’ll go shopping.”

“My advice is to call again and hang in there until you get a live person.”

A neighbor, Bernie, comes home from the mall looking sad.

“What’s wrong?” his wife says.

He pulls a large teddy bear from a bag.

“This one was the last so-called talking bear. I wrestled another guy who claimed he’d paid for it. I need coffee.”

“Thanks.” She holds up the bear, checks the price tag. “He was expensive. Oh, well, the church toy drive can use a nice toy.”

She puts teddy back in the bag and goes to make coffee.

“Hey, let me out of here!”

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