Sat, May 17 2008
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Published February 01, 2008 06:06 pm - Four years ago Tom Pecore sat on the edge his bed with nothing in his hand but a piece of paper. He was about to make a decision that would affect the rest of his life. Back from the brink The Norman Transcript By Michael Kinney
Transcript Sports Writer Four years ago Tom Pecore sat on the edge his bed with nothing in his hand but a piece of paper. He was about to make a decision that would affect the rest of his life. The sheet of paper was a resignation letter Pecore had typed up and was prepared to submit to Putnam City North High School. At the time he didn’t know if he could ever go back to coaching soccer. Pecore, a longtime Norman resident, said that he was going through a crisis of faith at the time. On Dec. 10, 2003, one of his players, Brian Nicholson, committed suicide and Pecore was one of the last people to see him alive. “When I saw him he had just got back from Texas from a club game,” Pecore said. “When I saw him I told him to get his leg checked out and that I will see him at school. I never even looked at him in his eyes. I was more concerned about the injury and how it would affect the team.” When Pecore found out Nicholson killed himself, that last meeting between the two became a regret that would almost haunt him. And it nearly led to him give up coaching altogether. Pecore, who had coaching stints in Norman, Moore and Chickasha, was about to do something he had never done before — give up. “I also lost my father that year,” Pecore said. “ After Brian died, I couldn’t come to practice, at school I was depressed. I couldn’t deal with those boys or their needs. I sat on the edge of my bed, and I had a letter of resignation ready. My wife said she would support me. But she asked me one question. ‘What would my father do?’ He would not abandon me and I couldn’t abandon these boys.” Pecore decided to stay with the Panthers, but he knew he couldn’t go back to the old way of doing things. He had been a win at all cost type of coaching, where victory was first, last and everything in-between. “Five years ago I was a drill sergeant type,” Pecore said. “Inflexible. It was my way or the highway. We will win and fight. It’s everybody against us. A combat attitude. We won’t do that anymore.” Pecore decided that winning couldn’t be the focal point of his job. Turning boys into men was now at the top of his agenda. And for Pecore that meant changing his style. “We changed the way we coached,” Pecore said. “We are still competitive and physically demanding. But it’s fun. We laugh with and at each other. I modify my coaching to fit the needs of the player. Sometimes that nature can blind you to what you are doing and how you are impacting those around you. I made mistakes. I pray I didn’t make any that changed lives to the negative.” For Pecore changing the attitude of the players wasn’t enough. He also looked to alter their thinking. “Our philosophy no longer emphasizes winning,” Pecore said. “It’s about relationships. Winning doesn’t matter. It’s about building relationships that will last a lifetime. It’s about redefining what a man is. It’s not about being rich, sexual conquest or his name. We tell them it’s unconditional love, commitment to service and sacrifice. By building on those three premises, we have gone from winning is everything to winning is natural.” 
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