The Norman Transcript

Entertainment

April 6, 2012

With ‘Reunion,’ it’s bye- bye ‘American Pie’

NORMAN — So why, why more “American Pie”?

It’s a lame one, just the same one, now with much older guys.

And starlets wearing mileage from all their whiskey and rye.

Singing “Why did my career go ‘bye’?”

“American Reunion” is a slow and sad, crude and cruel, tame and timid return to the scene of the crime against pastry. No, they don’t joke about how this all takes place an unlucky 13 years later. But life hasn’t run according to plan for the lads _ Jim (Jason Biggs), Oz (Chris Klein), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) or Stifler (Seann William Scott).

Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), on the other hand, roars up to their pre “13th Reunion” party on a motorcycle, full of tales of adventure and derring-do.

Jim is married to band-camp tart Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) and they have a toddler. Oz is a cable TV sportscaster who never made it to ESPN, with a hot young model girlfriend (Katrina Bowden) who is entirely too wild for his mild-mannered ways. Kevin is an architect and stay-at-home dad. And Stifler suffers the fate of many an ex-jock bully boy _ living in the past because the present, when he has to work for guys like the ones he beat up in school, is agony.

They decide to make this reunion their “Hangover” weekend _ heavy drinking, drugs, chasing old flames or high school girls, hiding their transgressions from their significant others.

“Harold and Kumar” vets Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg wrote and directed this trip down Full Frontal Nudity Lane. They’re lost trying to update this exhausted franchise, failing to find any funny new lines, relying on shock laughs involving oral sex, using the toilet in an ice chest and whatever dated dose of crudity Stifler blurts out.

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