By Peggy Laizure

Transcript Features Editor

There is nothing worse in the world than losing one’s child. The shock, the grief, the loss, the unfairness and the sudden realization that you have the “plague,” makes this the hardest time you will have in your life. Plague, because no one knows what to say or do so they do nothing. Friends you have had for years now avoid you.

There is a place you can turn, The Compassionate Friends. The Compassionate Friends was founded by The Rev. Canon Stephen Simon in England in 1969. A chapter opened in the United States in 1972. Now there are nearly 600 chapters, in all 50 states and nearly 30 countries. There are eight Oklahoma chapters.

There are no fees or dues to join The Compassionate Friends because members “have already paid the ultimate price with the death of their loved one,” members say. The organization is a national non-profit, self-help support organization offering friendship, understanding and hope to families grieving the death of a child of any age, from any cause. Its mission is to assist families toward a positive resolution. Great emphasis is placed on siblings, who many times get forgotten in the loss of a child. All chapters have a library with inspiring and self-help books, many other books, audio and video tapes, CDs and DVDs. Someone to listen is always available to those who need them.

“We are the only organization known to deal specifically with the death of a child or sibling regardless of age or cause of death,” members said.

The butterfly is the symbol of The Compassionate Friends. A speaker at a conference in 1978 said he saws butterflies on the wall of the children’s dormitories in concentration camps in Germany. The speaker said she felt butterflies felt signified the children’s awareness of ongoing life.

The Norman chapter meets 7:30 p.m. the third Tuesday of the month, at the community services building, Main St. and 12th Ave. SE. For more information call 360-4287, write P.O. Box 23, Norman, OK 73070 or e-mail thecompassionatefriends@hotmail.com.

The Compassionate Friends has a candlelighting ceremony for their loved ones in December and has a national conference every year. The candlelighting is world-wide so that every hour candles are light for the lost children.

This year, the Oklahoma chapters are sponsoring the 30th national conference, “Trails to Tears to Healing Hearts” in Oklahoma City, July 20-22. Speakers will be Elizabeth Edwards, Simon Stephens, Bill Hancock and Bud Welch.

Edwards, is a bereaved parent, lawyer and wife of presidential candidate John Edwards. Stephens is a chaplain in the British Royal Navy. Hancock, bereaved parent and author, lost a son in an airplane crash along with members and staff from the Oklahoma State University men’s basketball team. And Welch lost his daughter, Julie, in the bombing of the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City.

The conference will feature friendship, understanding and hope; a complete sibling program; a special Native American program; and the 8th annual Walk to Remember. Also available will be a bookstore, Butterfly Boutique, 8 by 10 photos or mementos for memory boards, reflection room and sharing sessions.

The Walk to Remember is a 2-mile walk beginning and ending at Cox Convention Center. Walkers do not have to attend the conference to participate. It begins 8 a.m., with a registration fee of $15 before June 15 and $20 after.

Since the organization is non-profit and does not charge dues, sponsorships are needed to help pay for the conference hotel banquet rooms and facilities and the speakers. Sponsorships are anything from $10 for dream catchers to $5,000. In kind donations are also needed. Plants, trees and flowers to decorate the banquets rooms, thank you cards, raffle prizes, printing, pens, t-shirts, fast food coupons, single use cameras, bottled water, highlighters, scrap booking supplies and many other items are needed.

The dream catchers will feature the chapter’s children and will be used to decorate registration area, memory boards and hospitality rooms. For more information go to www.compassionatefriends.