When a family member passes on and we bury them in the cemetery, of choice, it is with the understanding that they will be there forever. Not necessarily so in this day and time. We have all heard and read in newspapers of cemeteries that are being moved periodically for the sake of progress.

Just this week I read in a newspaper about a man in Maine who is wanting to buy 160 acres and he wants to build his home on a family cemetery on that land. The people in the area are up in arms and want that family grave yard saved as a matter of historical value. The man who is buried there is a veteran of the War of 1812. It is going through court and a descendant has been tracked down to represent the family. It is her great-great-great-great-grandfather's grave that is about to be desecrated.

My great-grandmother was buried in a cemetery that is no longer in existence in Missouri. The story I heard was that tombstones were piled around a tree or next to a fence and farmers plowed up the fields. I have been trying to find some record that will give me the name of that cemetery, but to date I have not been successful.

Back in 1970 while living in Oceanside, Calif., my husband and I observed a cemetery located near Interstate 5, which we passed each time we drove into a certain part of town. One day as we passed by we noticed that the area was being bull-dozed. It is not known if the graves were relocated to another cemetery, but within a few months there was a shiny new service station on that corner.

Sometimes there is a reason to relocate cemeteries if they are in a flood zone and we hear of that occasionally in areas where there are rivers and other waterways. Otherwise, in my opinion we should leave the cemeteries where they are and do our best to keep them in good condition.

Most of you have heard about my experience in Indiana. While on a trip in 2000 I found a cemetery with about five of my family members interred. A historical society had been working in the cemetery, digging up tombstones that had sunk below the ground, restoring stones and cleaning the cemetery. I sent a donation for the restoration of my family stones and some of the money for the restoration was provided by the township where the cemetery was located and some was donated by the county.

After the "graveyard groomer" finished with my family stones I was sent a picture. All five stones had been repaired (two had been broken) and they had been repainted. They looked beautiful. The oldest family member was my great-great-great-great-great-grandmother, Margaret (maiden name unknown) Miller. She was born Jan. 23, 1776, and died Oct. 24, 1870, having lived over 94 years. Hopefully, she will remain in that cemetery as long as the world exists, for other descendants to observe her grave site, just as I did on that day in 2000.

When I browsed the Forum Discussions on "To Find A Grave" this week there was some discussion about tombstones that were found near an apartment complex and looked like they were being used as paving stones for a walk way.

People were researching trying to find out where the stones should be and some of them had been identified. This could have happened if the stones had been replaced by newer stones, but they were from another state. Others were discussing vandalism in their local cemeteries. This can be very expensive when the bronze vases are stolen or the stone is pushed off its base.

Nearly every time I go on an out-of-state research trip and stop to canvass a cemetery or look for my ancestors, I have the opportunity to meet local people. I know they are really there to check on me to be sure that I am not there to vandalize the cemetery. They can sometimes be very helpful if you have questions about the cemetery, but make sure they are not up to no good.

Be aware of your surroundings when you are in an out of the way cemetery and if you see someone vandalizing make sure the right authorities are notified. I certainly would not stop anyone on my own, but I can find the local police department.

Cleveland County Genealogical Society

The Cleveland County Genealogical Society will host Tricia Carleton who will demonstrate publishing memories 7 p.m. May 20 in the CSBI classroom at 12th Avenue NE and E. Main Street. Use the south entrance from parking lot 4. Anyone interested is invited to attend.

When sending in queries or sharing information write to: Relatively Speaking, P.O. Drawer 1058, Norman, OK 73070 or e-mail Darlene Shawn at Djshawn636@aol.com.