Paying the price for claustrophobia

July 10, 2009 01:14 am

— Few experiences compare with the adrenaline rush caused by an attack of claustrophobia -- that trapped feeling with no possible escape and you believe you are about to suffocate.
It is fair to assume some might think such feelings of terror are confined to horror films in which brainless, beautiful young people willingly crawl into dark, confined spaces in search of bad guys or demons.
Although you, the viewer, know such action is dangerous and decidedly high on the stupid scale, you still jump when the inevitable attack occurs.
People who experience such anxiety attacks cannot control the fear even though that which is feared is not likely to happen. For example, the young daughter of a friend has a panic attack every time an item of clothing gets stuck over her head.
The time lapse between being stuck and being freed may be mere seconds, nevertheless the fear and the certainty of imminent suffocation is instinctive.
Oddly enough, the mother has similar anxieties. Consequently, going shopping with her for clothes is an adventure and an embarrassment. Those stifled screams emanating from the dressing room where she is attempting to try on clothes always draws attention.
But the entertaining part is when she comes out to look at the outfit in the 3-way mirror and she sees the gathered crowd.
Keeping that in mind, you may think short people (a couple inches over five feet tall) feel comfortable in small spaces. After all, it seems logical to assume short people need less space than a 7-foot basketball player.
I thought so too, until my Toyota Avalon's recent visit to the dealership ended up in an overnight stay for my car and a ride home for me with a stranger. This stranger was a shiny, new red Toyota Corolla.
The car was half the size of the Avalon. And that was only the first surprise. On the drive home I felt uneasy and it was not just because the woman at the dealership threatened to take my first born child if I marred, damaged or mutilated said vehicle.
In other words, she was going to max out my credit card. Then to top it all off, if I did not fill up the tank with gas, they would graciously do so for $4.75 per gallon (never mind that gas in our area is around $2.40 right now).
By the time I arrived home, I figured out the problem. The outside of the car gives the illusion that it is a fair-sized vehicle, but inside the steering wheel and the windshield are within inches of each other and the front seat area felt cramped. And I did not care how much room there was in the back seat, since I was sitting in the front seat with the walls closing in on me.
One tends to take roomy for granted, that is until one has to drive a shoebox they call a car. Come to think about it, there are other equally dangerous roller skates with tops on them which the government tries to pass off as cars and wants us to drive.
Since the yahoos running the government are so brilliantly clueless about what the people want, they nationalized most of our car industry and plan to design and force us into smaller and deadlier cars, with claustrophobia thrown in at no cost to the suckers.
Is this brilliant idea big government's way of rolling green cars and national healthcare into one package? Can you say Thinning the Herd Care? If you drive a government mandated small car, you will not have to worry about clean air or healthcare because you will not survive a crash.
The best part is that they want us to pay for the funeral.
Elizabeth is a freelance writer and former Norman resident. E-mail her at Elizabeth@elizabethcowan. com.