The Norman Transcript

Features

January 31, 2014

Parents need much sharper eyes for today’s youth

NORMAN — Q: Our 13-year-old son has had an iPod for the last three years. We’ve always made use of the parental restrictions to make sure that he could only access “clean” music, movies and websites.

When I recently checked the device, however, I discovered that he’s been listening to the most awful and explicit rap music, some of which I would describe as pornographic.

Apparently, he’s been able to hide this from us for about a year.

We have taken away his iPod forever, grounded him until further notice, suspended his video game privileges and banned violent video games forever. He had us completely fooled.

He’s an honor student, polite, calm and completely obedient. He’s never given us any big problems until now. Are we being too harsh here?

A: I agree that this is a serious betrayal of trust, but the important issue is whether your son is remorseful. If he feels bad about what he’s done, good. If, on the other hand, he’s defending himself or attempting to minimize the problem, then you have another problem on top of the betrayal.

Since you didn’t mention reactions of that sort, I’m going to give your son the benefit of doubt and posit that this is an example of an otherwise good kid doing what otherwise good teen boys sometimes do — to wit, they conduct little experiments with being bad.

Most of the experiments in question — and again, I’m talking about otherwise good kids — do not indicate that the child in question is about to go off the proverbial deep end. In other words, a good kid can do something really bad and still be a good kid who grows up to be a good person.

A significant amount of concern would be warranted if your son was not remorseful, was trying to rationalize and otherwise talk his way out of this, was being more generally deceitful and especially if he was beginning to engage in other problem behaviors with other problem kids. But in the absence of any of that, this is probably nothing more than a “glitch.”

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Features
  • Couple with autistic children lead Thorn Bush Autism group

    For Leah and Christian Eisenbeis raising two children with Autism is not only a challenge but it’s been a blessing, too....

    April 20, 2014

  • Free pressure canner checks offered

    With warmer weather trying to get a grip on April’s temperatures, it’s time to get the dial on your pressure canner checked. This is a free service provided by the Cleveland County Extension Office, 601 E. Robinson St. in Norman....

    April 20, 2014

  • Norman artist pledges to continue painting until colors fade

    About five or six months ago, I came across an article in The Norman Transcript about local artist Almira Hill Grammer, who had a display of her work at the State Capitol....

    April 20, 2014

  • ‘Blood moon’ rising

    I guess we all have one thing in common right now. We survived a “blood moon.” What a whirlwind of a week. It seemed that, like Hillary Clinton, the universe was just tossing shoes at me left and right. Maybe it was a sign I need to slow ...

    April 20, 2014

  • What to know about use of BVO

    Q: I’ve heard about Brominated vegetable oil recently. Could you provide some more information? A: Brominated vegetable oil, also called BVO, is a food additive that is often used to keep citrus flavor emulsified in sodas and sports ...

    April 20, 2014

  • Blessing opens demo garden

    A blustery, gray day didn’t mute enthusiasm for the first Saturday of the spring season April 12 at the Cleveland County Master Gardeners demo gardens and the Norman Farm Market....

    April 20, 2014

  • OHCE members receive awards

    Cleveland County’s Oklahoma Home and Community Education members Carol Doner and Megan Doner were award winners at a recent OHCE District meeting in Mustang....

    April 20, 2014

  • Book signing set

    Author Jerry Webster, of Edmond, will sign copies of his book, “What Brings a Soldier to His Knees,” from 1 to 3 p.m. Saturday at Hastings Books, 2300 W. Main St....

    April 20, 2014

  • DeLange receives Eagle Scout award

    Jacob DeLange, 15, a freshman at Norman North High School, recently earned his Eagle Scout award with Troop 285, Last Frontier Council....

    April 20, 2014

  • Parents urged to research ADHD

    Q: Our son has just been diagnosed with ADHD, and we have been told he may need social skills training. He is in third grade, and this is all very new and foreign. Do you know anything about this training, and what does this mean for his ...

    April 18, 2014