The Norman Transcript

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March 14, 2014

Don’t focus on raising perfect kids

(Continued)

NORMAN —

Most adults, if they look back on their childhoods, will realize that they developed misbehaviors that no consequence on God’s green earth would have stopped them from doing.

We all develop misbehaviors during childhood that we carry into our adult lives. Our parents’ best efforts to help us solve these problems failed.

We had to come to grips with them as adults. We had to take full responsibility for them and purge them from our lives.

The second thing I need to tell you is that talking impusively and not keeping one’s hands to oneself is a symptom of “boy.” When all is said and done, and despite the fact that they are inappropriate to a classroom setting, they are not serious problems. He is not doing anything malicious or pre-sociopathic.

Unfortunately, schools have lost tolerance for “boy.” They hold boys to a female standard of behavior, which is one reason why lots more boys than girls are diagnosed with the disorders referred to above.

So, you’re doing fine. Just stay the course. Keep in mind that your job is not to correct all of his problems before he becomes an adult. You can’t, and the attempt to do so will drive you nuts. Look around you. There are lots of moms who are driving themselves nuts trying to raise perfect kids. Don’t go there.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parent questions at parentguru.com.

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