The Norman Transcript

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April 4, 2014

Parent needs to put her foot down

NORMAN — Q: My 14-year-old daughter says I don’t trust her because, unlike her best friend’s parents, I won’t allow her to stay home alone for several days while I go out of town. Her friend’s parents do this at least once a month while they go to their second home, and their two teenagers — 14 and 16 — have thrown at least two raucous alcohol (and most likely sex) parties in their absence.

I have tried to explain to my daughter that this is not typical parenting and I am concerned about her and her brother’s welfare, but I am struggling with a way to do this without throwing other parents “under the bus,” so to speak.

In addition, my daughter may not even think this is bad parenting and just think I’m making excuses for myself.

 

A: Your problem is your concern about throwing these other parents under the proverbial bus. As a result, you are mincing words, pulling your punches, avoiding the real issue and failing to make yourself perfectly clear.

For example, you’ve told your daughter this is “not typical parenting.” I give you high marks for your deft use of polite euphemisms, but the bald fact is her friend’s parents are a couple of irresponsible narcissists. They obviously put the satisfaction of their own hedonistic appetites way out in front of their children’s welfare. The upshot of this is that their children are putting other people’s children at significant risk.

It’s time the entire community stopped turning a blind eye to this and, yes, threw them under the bus. The next time they leave their children at home alone while they go seek their monthly pleasure fix, someone needs to make a phone call to Child Protective Services.

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