The Norman Transcript


October 5, 2012

Wie gehts?



Some people walk with the determination of a juggernaut. It is a good idea to avoid getting in their way because the juggernauts will mow you down, and barely feel the impact. On the other hand, you will be dusting off their cleat marks from you body.

The Road Runners resemble the cartoon character of the same name as they zip hither and yon. The good news, they tend to skirt obstacles rather than plow through them. As you may have noticed, the Road Runners are the Type A dudes and dudettes who have never learned to ambulate in a serene manner. Their motto should be: “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get” (author unknown).

On the other hand, real life runners carry themselves with the grace and fluidity of ballet dancers, but without that telltale preening wiggle.

Speaking of wiggle, some ladies engage the wiggle to such an extent that guys watching such “tick tock” posteriors in action experience eyeball whiplash. A painful and disconcerting condition, particularly when the eyes get stuck at odd angles. There is also the constant and serious danger of those little wiggle warts knocking their backs out of whack.

Tired or overburdened folks plod along under the invisible yoke of their misery. Very depressing to watch and irritating to be behind because they block our paths.

Practically always cheerful people tend to bounce as they walk. As if they are poised to leap up in the sky and fly away or start dancing. An uninhibited co-worker indulges in skipping down the hall when no one is looking. Oops. She forgot about the security cameras.

Be a dear and wave to the nice security guard.

My favorite walkers let their entire bodies get in on the action. But each part moves separately from the others. There is no fluidity in their movements. Nevertheless, I have been known to gape in fascination at such anatomical marvels.

So, what’s your gait?

Elizabeth is a freelance writer and author. Email: Visit her website:

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