The Norman Transcript


February 26, 2013

Unleashing your inner dragon



In the case of the aforementioned traffic transgression, the unleashed inner dragon may see red as it speaks in tongues using earthy language and perhaps even questions the legitimate parentage of such schizoid drivers.

It is unfortunate but quite possible that the same driver who cut you off or sped up to prevent you from changing lanes or entering the freeway may be a nice mannerly fellow who opens doors for others and smiles while doing so. But do not be fooled by the deceptive biped.

Ignore the bumper stickers on his vehicles extolling the athletic prowess of his numerous children or the stickers which encourage everyone to “Ask me about my grandkids.” If the person in the car next to you resembles your sweet granny or a favorite uncle but stares straight ahead pretending not to see the blinking signal light on your car requesting ingress into the lane in front of them, that is no sweet person. Learn to recognize the schizoid stony stare and try to control your inner dragon.

People who jump from normal to traffic schizoid do not return to any semblance of what could be termed their senses and kindlier ways until the car is parked and they are no longer behind the wheel. Since society enjoys irrelevant and expensive studies, there ought to be a frivolous investigation into the possible correlation between traffic schizophrenia and the mild dude sliding into the driver’s seat of his car.

What happens in the brain? Does the simple contact between man and machine jumble the brain circuitry? Inquiring minds, with nothing better to question, want to know.

In the meantime, we can dream of unleashing that inner dragon, breathing a little fire and “accidentally” displaying our talents for high kicks to the unmentionable body parts of those charming traffic offenders.

Elizabeth is a freelance writer and author. Check out her novel “The Dionysus Connection” on Amazon or ask your bookstore to order it for you. Visit her website,

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