The Norman Transcript


February 8, 2013

The lingering gifts



“It’s an armadillo skull,” he says with a shrug.

“Do I need a tetanus shot? Will I die from the bite?”


“Are you telling me that besides digging holes in my flower garden and aggravating the dog, they can return from the dead and chomp on my toes?”


A man of few words.

On a more human plane, some gifts are only appreciated when we give them away (also known as re-gifting) or when we hide them and hope they are forgotten.

Christmas is the most opportune time for such gifts to rear their inevitable heads. Aside from the ubiquitous fruit cake, which has long ago fossilized as it passed from hand to hand and no one dares to open the package, there are the “gag” gifts. The recipient is supposed to open the package and burst out laughing, sometimes.

Hubby is a kind person by nature and in the murky past my sister put that kindness to the test. No matter what he received, Hubby always managed to look delighted and thanked the giver.

She found a purple tie which was a cross between dark lilac and good-God-it’s-an-Easter egg-in-the-shape-of-a-tie. The evil sibling wrapped it up and gave it to Hubby for Christmas, expecting a shocked reaction or exclamation.

Hubby open the box, held up the tie for everyone to see. “Oh! Thank you very much.”

Eventually, the tie became the pass around gift. No one knew who would be blessed with it, but everyone laughed, secretly rejoicing that they did not get it. This painful practice continued until my father received the tie. He opened it, put on his most disapproving professorial face and swiftly buried it in his pile of gifts.

The purple tie never saw the light of day again, which is a good thing because somewhere along the way my sister also found an incredibly large cup size purple bra to match the tie.

Elizabeth is a freelance writer and author. Check out her novel “The Dionysus Connection” on Amazon or ask your bookstore to order it for you. Visit her website

For local news and more, subscribe to The Norman Transcript Smart Edition, or our print edition.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
  • Helping cat with first veterinarian visit

    Dear Dr. Fox: A stray kitty adopted me a couple months ago and has since been tamed enough that I have found a vet to neuter him and do some much-needed dental work. My fear is that the poor boy will be so traumatized by this ordeal that ...

    July 24, 2014

  • Veterans Corner needs volunteer to drive residents to OKC VA

    Veterans Corner volunteer of the week David Sudduth has been with us for the last eight years. He is a veteran of the U.S. Air Force who served during the Vietnam War. David and his wife, Carolyn, have had their home in the Newalla area ...

    July 23, 2014

  • Low-cost and free cell phone options for thrifty seniors

    Dear Savvy Senior, What are the cheapest cell phone options available today to seniors living on a shoestring budget? I only need it for occasional calls. — Seldom Calling Senior Dear Seldom, For financially challenged seniors who only ...

    July 22, 2014

  • Harrah residents at home in restored vintage camper

    Sulphur — David Wiegert was quick to help a couple of newbie campers at the Buckhorn Campground on Arbuckle Lake in the Chickasaw National Recreation Area. What Dave offered was badly needed advice on setting up travel trailers, where to ...

    July 20, 2014

  • Historic quilt from Noble on auction block

    An alert quilter and teacher is concerned about a vintage quilt from Noble that’s being auctioned on eBay....

    July 20, 2014

  • Bark for Life brings pets into fundraising

    Local American Cancer Society member and Norman Regional nurse is at it again, raising awareness for cancer patients with an event that gets people moving. “Bark for Life” is a noncompetitive walk that will be from 8 to 10 a.m. Saturday ...

    July 20, 2014

  • Deadline for entering United Way’s The Ride extended

    Kids ages 3 to 8 are getting ready to roll on their decked out big wheel tricycles in an effort to raise money for the United Way of Norman. The Ride, a big wheel race organized by First American Bank and other local businesses, is ...

    July 20, 2014

  • Fundraiser set

    The Apple Gold Group, a franchisee of Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill and Bar, will host a flapjack fundraiser July 26 at Applebee’s, 500 Ed Noble Parkway in Norman....

    July 20, 2014

  • Sculpture brings tornado-torn community together

    After the May 20 tornado tore through Moore in 2013, hundreds of families were left to pick up the pieces. And it was in these old, shattered pieces of people’s homes and scattered debris that two local artists found something new....

    July 20, 2014

  • Keep toddler’s hair short to help end hair-pulling habit

    Q: Since our daughter, now 2 years old, was born, we have lived with my parents. Being the first and only grandchild, she has been the center of attention. Several months ago, our son was born and we moved into our own home. Almost ...

    July 18, 2014