The Norman Transcript

Features

October 18, 2013

Don’t let friend take control

NORMAN — Dear counselors, I have a friend who has recently started acting very controlling. She only wants to spend time with me. She controls what we do and even tells me what I should and shouldn’t wear.

When we are with a group of people, she makes a fool of herself trying to belittle me and win them over to her side. I wasn’t aware there were sides. This is really upsetting to me because we have been friends for a long time.

— Staci, of Norman

Dear Staci,

We can tell this is obviously causing you stress and unhappiness. Although this behavior is often seen in middle-level kids, we get the impression you are older, even though you didn’t say your age or grade level. We believe true friends are people who bring out the best in us.

They make us laugh, are honest, helpful, always on our side and they aren’t afraid of ruining the friendship by telling us something we may be afraid to hear.

It doesn’t sound to us like your friend fits these requirements. There is no place in a friendship for jealousy, belittling or controlling. It takes two to make a friendship.

In relationships, you are the boss of you. We’ve always felt that one of the hardest life lessons is knowing how to gracefully bow out of a friendship that no longer makes you happy. If you choose to end the friendship, be honest, up front and explain your feelings. Make yourself less available for texts, calls or activities.

You must decide if you are going to allow this “friend” to disrespect you by trying to control you, because if you don’t allow it, it won’t continue. When you stop allowing yourself to be treated this way, the friendship will either survive or not.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Features
  • Crafter’s emporium planned Saturday

    Members of the Opal District Crafter’s Emporium, plus other local artists, will have an art show from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday at the Cleveland County Fairgrounds, 615 E. Robinson St. in Norman. It will be hosted concurrently with the ...

    July 31, 2014

  • Williams book signing event set

    Jared Williams, a resident of Moore, will sign copies of his book “Cerebral” from 1 to 3 p.m. Saturday at Hastings, 2300 W. Main St. Norman....

    July 31, 2014

  • Home dedication set Sunday

    Cleveland County Habitat for Humanity will host a dedication of the Ruvalcaba family home from 2 to 4 p.m. Sunday at 618 E. Apache St. Those attending are asked to bring a pantry item to help the family begin life in their new home. ...

    July 31, 2014

  • Two territorial littermate cats are asserting social dominance

    Dear Dr. Fox: When we decided to get a cat 10 years ago, I thought getting a couple of littermates would work well. They got along during the first couple of years, often sleeping together and grooming each other. As they matured, though, ...

    July 31, 2014

  • Board welcomes new member

    In its June meeting, the members of the Mary Abbott Children’s House board of directors elected Barbara Henderson to serve the remaining term of Anne Ederington, who resigned from the board in May due to moving from Norman. Henderson and ...

    July 30, 2014

  • Pancake breakfast set

    The Police Explorer youth organization will host an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast from 7 to 11 a.m. Saturday at the Norman Masonic Lodge, 1700 N. Porter Ave. All-you-can-eat pancakes, sausage, milk, orange juice and coffee costs $5. ...

    July 30, 2014

  • Center will be more than a building

    Many volunteers who assist veterans and surviving spouses have driven more than an hour to be at the Goldsby Community Center by 7 a.m. each Thursday. The volunteer of the week is from Harrah and has made that drive for the last three ...

    July 30, 2014

  • Senior organizations that appeal to conservatives

    Dear Savvy Senior, Can you recommend any advocacy organizations for seniors other than AARP? I cut up my AARP card a few years back when they supported Obamacare and am now looking for another organization that better represents me....

    July 29, 2014

  • Seniors adjust to different sleep patterns

    According to the National Institutes of Health, older adults need seven to nine hours of sleep each night. However, sleep patterns change with age; this is often evident in the nursing home population. Frequent causes of interrupted sleep ...

    July 29, 2014

  • Ceremony marks opening of community center

    A July 23 ribbon-cutting ceremony marked the addition of another feature to the Chickasaw Nation Carter service campus in Ardmore....

    July 27, 2014