The Norman Transcript

Features

July 28, 2013

Frantic Friday

NORMAN — In this neck of the woods, Friday morning traffic is lighter than the unholy and chaotic mess that is the norm during the rest of the week.

However, the afternoon rush hour traffic is the polar opposite — horrendous.

What level of Hades spews forth all those afternoon drivers? The roads are clogged and traffic creeps along at a pace a slug-a-bed snail would love. Where were all these inconsiderate and impatient drivers in the morning?

Does everyone sleep in on Friday? Are we part of the “select daft” group who is not special enough to get the memo? Is that the reason we doggedly drive in on time, eager for the workday to begin?

The only problem with the supposedly “relaxed” Friday morning drive is the remaining lunatic fringe who give themselves permission to drive as their inner-demons dictate. Translation: they are deadly, dangerous and doggone irritating. All the unsavory traits kept in check by the bumper-to-bumper creep to work during the rest of the week.

Do you recall the parable when Jesus tells a man, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle ...”? Well, dear hearts, everyone and their dog tries to “thread the needle” on Frantic Friday.

Pickup trucks sporting a myriad of dents will weave from one lane to another and squeeze in between cars with less space available than the proverbial “eye of the needle.” Such antics probably explain the reason for the existence of all those dents peppering the bodies of those same trucks.

Cars are just as guilty. They think nothing of following the lead of the aforementioned pickup trucks, changing lanes even when no opening exists. Reminds me of how my father, the philosopher, drove — oblivious and scary.

Never fear, we have not forgotten those agile and demented motorcyclists. They must either be immortal or have a serious death wish. How else can we explain the way those fearless folk ride their motorcycles?

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