The Norman Transcript


June 20, 2014

That makes no sense

NORMAN — The world has lost its stinking marbles.

Action is taken by individuals and companies alike that does not compute. In a perfect world there is supposed to be a valid reason for action taken. Then again ours is far from being a perfect world, unless you are fortunate enough to inhabit a parallel universe where that concept holds true.

In fact, in our universe the law of cause and effect — for every action there is a reaction — is more than a bit skewed.

Say for example that little Samantha Jean smacks Aaron on the back during recess. Oh wait. Do they even allow recess anymore? After all we cannot allow someone to get dry mouth during a rousing game of spitballs. Oh wait! Spitting and playing are not allowed on the playground.

Actually, the playground has been bulldozed and is now a padded area to keep all those delicate little urchins from harm.

Back to little Sam and the boy she slapped. As it happens, she likes Aaron and the best way to let him know how she feels is to knock the kid on his tush. However, the object of her affection does not understand that sustaining a cracked rib courtesy of her sweet love tap means that she is crazy about him. Consequently, Aaron grits his teeth, chases her down and bounces a soccer ball off her head.

Samantha begins to cry. Not good. The teachers get their panties or boxers in a knot because in their minds a crying little girl means she has been harmed. Instead of investigating, they force Aaron to take the march of shame to the principal’s office. Following a tirade by an equally inflexible principal, Aaron is suspended for a week because he inflicted bodily harm on a poor defenseless girl. Nobody seems to care that he has a cracked rib.

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