The Norman Transcript

Features

April 25, 2014

Random thoughts

NORMAN — Do you ever find your mind bombarded with weird questions? Why do we expend brain cell energy on questions that have the importance of a speck of dust? In the grand scheme of things we should think about earthshaking things.

Whether you believe that deep thoughts are more meaningful than random ones, the fact remains that the random ones rule. This is because there are too many opportunities to let your mind wander and when it does, odd thoughts and questions barge in where brilliance thrived. At least that is what we like to believe.

Unfortunately, few of us conduct “thought experiments” like Albert Einstein used to do. In fact, most folks are hard put to do simple math in their heads without the use of fingers and toes. Of course, the fingers are manageable, if you are discreet about using them. However, when it comes to including the toes in your calculations, shoes, socks, stockings and other footgear get in the way. If you really rely on those toes, then perhaps you should go barefoot, which comes with its own set of hazards.

For the safety of your person and anyone else who happens to be near you, neither thought experiments nor intricate mathematical calculations should be attempted while driving. Too much can go wrong if such heavy thoughts occupy your mind.

Stick to simple and fleeting thoughts such as: Why did that illegitimate son of a seahorse cut in front of your vehicle without signaling? The trick is not to get caught up in the ensuing rage or the flow of petty thoughts which bombard your mind as your eyes grow large and glow red while giving the offending driver the evil eye. The recommended course of action is a quick thought concerning his or her parentage and then focus on the flowers by the side of the road.

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