The Norman Transcript

April 25, 2014

Random thoughts


The Norman Transcript

NORMAN — Do you ever find your mind bombarded with weird questions? Why do we expend brain cell energy on questions that have the importance of a speck of dust? In the grand scheme of things we should think about earthshaking things.

Whether you believe that deep thoughts are more meaningful than random ones, the fact remains that the random ones rule. This is because there are too many opportunities to let your mind wander and when it does, odd thoughts and questions barge in where brilliance thrived. At least that is what we like to believe.

Unfortunately, few of us conduct “thought experiments” like Albert Einstein used to do. In fact, most folks are hard put to do simple math in their heads without the use of fingers and toes. Of course, the fingers are manageable, if you are discreet about using them. However, when it comes to including the toes in your calculations, shoes, socks, stockings and other footgear get in the way. If you really rely on those toes, then perhaps you should go barefoot, which comes with its own set of hazards.

For the safety of your person and anyone else who happens to be near you, neither thought experiments nor intricate mathematical calculations should be attempted while driving. Too much can go wrong if such heavy thoughts occupy your mind.

Stick to simple and fleeting thoughts such as: Why did that illegitimate son of a seahorse cut in front of your vehicle without signaling? The trick is not to get caught up in the ensuing rage or the flow of petty thoughts which bombard your mind as your eyes grow large and glow red while giving the offending driver the evil eye. The recommended course of action is a quick thought concerning his or her parentage and then focus on the flowers by the side of the road.

Speaking of flowers, Hubby is what I call a sightseeing driver. He makes note of the numerous bluebonnets blooming in one section of his travels as opposed to another section. He studies the cows in the roadside pastures. He sees prairie dogs while driving through a basically barren field, even though said prairie dogs blend into the scenery.

On the other hand, I never even notice structures that have been in the same spot for years or those invisible prairie dogs. My focus remains on the road and those delightful drivers that surround my Lexus Lite (aka Toyota Avalon).

Although so many of the random thoughts are related to other drivers and their behavior, there is room for other thoughts as well. Sometimes a billboard or a sign on a car asking me to honk if I love Jesus triggers the stream of consciousness zone out.

I pass a billboard every day which advertises a pleasure gadget shop called Sara’s Secret. Well, my first thought was that if it is on a billboard, it is not much of a secret now is it? Of course, one wonders what those not so secret shops sell, so I talked Hubby into stopping to satisfy my curiosity.

Hubby refused to go inside even though the first thing I saw was a man with salt and pepper hair making a purchase. He could easily have been a doctor, a lawyer or even a minister. You will be happy to hear that I refrained from sidling up to him to see what he was buying. Instead, I wandered around the store.

My brief excursion satisfied my curiosity, or at least partially. There was no way I was going to ask that child behind the counter what some of that stuff was for. After all, I have my dignity sort of.

Hubby chuckled when he saw my face, but was wise enough to remain silent as we drove off into the sunset, in search of other ways to satisfy my curiosity.

Elizabeth is a freelance writer and author. Her latest novel, “Sins of the Father,” is available on amazon.com. Website: www.elizabethcowan.com.

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