NORMAN — For the last eight years of marriage, I’ve managed to survive illnesses, football season, basketball season, passionate discussions on politics and silly husband blunders that are just not worth mentioning.
I thought I’d seen it all, survived it all and was able to cope with it all. Then came fantasy football season.
I don’t even know what fantasy football is, really. But I’m going to assume it’s not a world where men get together and fantasize about what color the player’s jerseys will be this week. And, I certainly hope it’s not a gathering to talk about what color outfits the cheerleaders will partially be wearing this week. Side note, my fantasy every week would be that those player’s jerseys would be pink.
Being that this is his freshman year for his fantasy league, I cut the Mister some slack. In the beginning. Now, I’m starting to count the days until not only the end of football season, but the fictitious season, as well.
I thought he had his hobby under control. I’d catch a glimpse here or there of his online activity. Mostly, I only glanced as I was hoping his computer time was being occupied by visiting jewelry websites for Christmas shopping.
I don’t think I really realized he had a full blown problem until last weekend when, during my computer time, I was paying bills and the husband was hovering over me. At first, I thought he was there for moral support as I gave all our money to the electric company and the cell phone company. Then I realized his lurking was for his own personal gain. “When are you going to be done?” He sheepishly asked. I knew right then and there he wasn’t wanting to check out the sale ads for the diamond store. He wanted to see what players were up for trade. And it was urgent. The big game was on in an hour.
I’m not going to lead you, dear reader, into believing that I’ve not wasted time on the Internet. Personally, I think that’s one of the reasons that great tool was invented. But, and I know my husband reads this column faithfully, how about a little more time searching for my fantasy diamond and a little less time checking out the fantasy football.