The Norman Transcript


May 3, 2013

What lights the fire?



Once I regained consciousness, my stomach clenched with dread at the thought of spending untold hours at a dealership doing the let-me-talk-to-my-manager cha cha.

Why can’t the process be as simple as buying a head of lettuce? You walk in, choose the best one, pay for it and go home. In a perfect world…

Before we left the house, I called the salesman who sent me the quote.

“Hi, we’re coming to buy the Avalon, but I don’t want to bring a sleeping bag. Can we make this quick and painless? If not, I won’t buy the car.”

“They are preparing the car as we speak and I promise to get you out in about an hour.”

Upon our arrival, I told the salesman I didn’t want to hear the spiel about an extended warranty. He was good with that and filled out the paperwork.

And then the man in black arrived for the financing stage. As Hubby and I followed him to the office I said, “I’m not going to be polite.”

“Why not?” the guy asked, laughing.

“I don’t want the warranty spiel.” He pulled out the warranty sheet and wrote DECLINED across it.

Long story somewhat shortened, we bought the car and were out in little over an hour.

The car is a freaking computer and computers hate me. You breathe wrong and some action instantly happens. Note to self: Keep hands on wheel and away from the touchy feely screen.

As we turned on our dark little county road, Hubby asked me to turn on the high beam and seemed satisfied.

“Does this car have the Hydrogen Peroxide headlights?” she asked.

“Do you mean Halogen headlights?” he gently corrected with a straight face just before we both fell over laughing.

Well, at least he knew what I meant. And it did start with the letter “H.”

Elizabeth is a freelance writer and author. Check out her novel “The Dionysus Connection” on Amazon or ask your bookstore to order it for you. Visit her website,

Text Only | Photo Reprints
  • Just say no to 12-year-old’s Mohawk

    A mom recently asked me what I would say to my son if he was 12 years old and wanted a Mohawk haircut for the summer. I told her I’d say no. “But is it really that big a deal?” she said....

    August 1, 2014

  • Peanut Butter and Jelly Jam set

    Norman residents will serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to the homeless from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday at Andrew’s Park, 201 W. Daws St. A pop-up store also will distribute donations of new and gently used books, clothing, shoes, ...

    August 1, 2014

  • CCFI announces play therapy course

    Center for Children and Families will present the course Fundamentals of Non-Directive Play Therapy from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Aug. 8 at Sarkeys Foundation, 520 E. Main St....

    August 1, 2014

  • Recent weather has been surprising

    Earlier this July, a dense cold front slipped into the central section of the Southwest — including Oklahoma, Kansas, Texas and bordering states — dropping daytime temperature highs into the upper 60s and 70s, which I believe is an ...

    August 1, 2014

  • Are you a puppet or a prince?

    Names have power. This cautionary statement is frequently found in fantasy novels populated by magical beings. The implication being that you should choose your friends and enemies wisely....

    August 1, 2014

  • Crafter’s emporium planned Saturday

    Members of the Opal District Crafter’s Emporium, plus other local artists, will have an art show from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday at the Cleveland County Fairgrounds, 615 E. Robinson St. in Norman. It will be hosted concurrently with the ...

    July 31, 2014

  • Williams book signing event set

    Jared Williams, a resident of Moore, will sign copies of his book “Cerebral” from 1 to 3 p.m. Saturday at Hastings, 2300 W. Main St. Norman....

    July 31, 2014

  • Home dedication set Sunday

    Cleveland County Habitat for Humanity will host a dedication of the Ruvalcaba family home from 2 to 4 p.m. Sunday at 618 E. Apache St. Those attending are asked to bring a pantry item to help the family begin life in their new home. ...

    July 31, 2014

  • Two territorial littermate cats are asserting social dominance

    Dear Dr. Fox: When we decided to get a cat 10 years ago, I thought getting a couple of littermates would work well. They got along during the first couple of years, often sleeping together and grooming each other. As they matured, though, ...

    July 31, 2014

  • Board welcomes new member

    In its June meeting, the members of the Mary Abbott Children’s House board of directors elected Barbara Henderson to serve the remaining term of Anne Ederington, who resigned from the board in May due to moving from Norman. Henderson and ...

    July 30, 2014