The Norman Transcript

Features

November 16, 2012

The price of being human

NORMAN — When was the last time you were flabbergasted by something you said or did?

As you might expect and considering how the mind of this writer tends to twist when you expected it to turn, we are not referring to amazing yourself with your supernova brilliance. Instead, let’s focus on those mindboggling moments that you cannot withhold exclaiming: “OMG!” or “I couldn’t have possibly done or said that!”

Rest assured that such moments are not imbued with pride or pompous peacockery. Such moments whether they occur in public, with a cast of thousands present and unmercifully attentive, or private, the brain-freeze feeling, without benefit of tasting yummy ice cream, is usually the same. In other words, acts or words which can only be described as unbelievably stupid.

Unless you are Mary Poppins, we have all experience relatively minor mishaps.

Hubby often tosses the trash bags in the back of his truck and drops them off in the bins at the end of our long driveway. Sometimes he forgets and the trash becomes well-traveled. Wouldn’t you love to see the face of the thief who decided to help himself to the bags?

Perhaps you are in a nice café having an animated conversation with friends — animated as in channeling your real or perceived Italian heritage and “speaking” with your hands. Then the waiter comes by with a hot cup of tea or coffee and the next thing you know the beverage ends up in your lap. Besides second-degree burns in a sensitive area, the stain is quite noticeable on white linen slacks.

For the unfathomably klutzy, stay out of shops with lots of breakable items. Whether you tend to swing your purse as you walk or gesture with gusto as you pass by a display, the potential for costly mortification is very real. Thus you come to understand the reason for the sign: “You break it. You buy it.”

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