The Norman Transcript

Features

April 26, 2013

Recall

NORMAN — Things we do and say surpass the “blonde moments” we all seem to have from time to time. Things best left unsaid or undone. It would be so helpful to have a retractable line or a delete or button attached to everything we say or do.

Such a device could be used to reel back or undo the action before another human being, usually a relative, sees it. Or take back our words before they hit the tympanic membrane of someone’s shell-like or overly developed conch-like ears.

On second thought a selective amnesia device would be the best and most effective. It would be used on anyone who saw or heard something you said or did that you wish had never happened.

If you are familiar with the “Men in Black” movies, one of those memory wiping flash pens would work. But the memory wipe needed for hoof-in-mouth and other behavioral issues should time settings whereby one can erase anyone’s memory of the past 5, 10, or more minutes. Think of all the grief and drama that could be avoided with these devices.

As it is, the world is full of drama queens, and they come in all ages and genders. Yes, gentlemen, there are moments when even you step out on the world stage, or at least where people can see you, and make a scene. A scene which in retrospect you wish had never happened.

In the case of our offspring, whether the drama queen happens to be a toddler, tween or teen, their lives are one continuous drama. They can’t help themselves (it’s a bit like an out-of-body experience) and the play unfolds. Unfortunately, such dramas are rarely, if ever, applauded by the long suffering audience.

There should be a rule, like the Golden Rule, but it would be known as the Drama Queen Rule. “Blunder if you must, but do it in private.”

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