The Norman Transcript

Features

May 10, 2013

Locomotion

NORMAN — For the average person walking is a fairly simple process. You put one foot in front of the other and move.

The act of walking is part of a human being’s development which also happens to be part of a convergence of three milestones: (i) learning to talk; (ii) learning to walk; and (iii) the Terrible Twos. Of course, when it comes to your little genius, and to hear you tell it, talking and walking took place soon after the little darling emerged into the world.

It took that child nine months to make his or her debut, but once born, the clock began ticking. Therefore, the objective of this new human is to cram as much living into his or her finite life as possible.

Learning to speak is a trial in itself because grownups insist on speaking “Goo Goo” instead of the presumed mother tongue of the child. It is fortunate that interspersed between the “oochie woochie coos” are actual words and thus, in spite of the adults, the small carbon unit learns to speak the language of the people. And sometimes what comes out of the mouths of babies is not pretty.

When it comes to the Terrible Twos, far too many people have taken up permanent residence in that realm with no maturity in sight.

Walking can be tricky at first. Babies are handicapped with enormous bottom pads, also known as diapers, which make the urchins bottom heavy. If the diapers happen to be filled, then the weight distribution in those diapers becomes problematic when one is attempting to perfect the art of walking.

This diaper handicap is the reason beginner walkers tend to step, wobble and plop. In time, they learn to walk without plopping. On the other end of the spectrum, the wobbles return with advancing age and once again the walker will experience the step, wobble and plop mode of locomotion.

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