The Norman Transcript


December 30, 2012

Baby Boomer tries not to go boom boom down mountain



I finally get to the top. Success. Where is Leo Dicaprio to hold my arms out, so the summit wind can blow my hair? Well, at least I have my picture made with the Christmas tree. Woo hoo. Queen of the mountain. That was the prettiest tree I had ever seen in my 59 not 60 years. Now, the harder part, getting down. A handsome, muscular man wearing a kilt went by me. I was hoping a gust of wind might divulge the age old question, “What exactly do they wear under those kilts?” No such luck, he smiled and left me in his dust.

I finished the adventure in 5 hours and 45 minutes. The boys finished in 3 hours. However, I am double their age so it would make sense I would be double their time. Math is beautiful like that.

The only real obstacle was drinking all that water and not being able to pee for almost 6 hours. I had three kids in four years. When I am not on a mountain, I flow like the Ganges. I pee about every hour. It was a motivation to hurry on down that mountain.

I highly recommend this climb for all ages, families, individuals, dogs and kilt wearers. Things you need to be successful are good shoes, fitted gloves, loose clothes, water. A rabbit’s foot, four leaf clover, rosary, flask of liquor (in case you get stiffed by the St. Bernard) and skeptical family members who thought you couldn’t do it will help you scramble your way up to the top.

I think I will be sore until next Christmas, but I didn’t go boom, boom down the mountain so maybe I’ll try again next year.

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