The Norman Transcript

Features

February 1, 2013

Sweet Dreams

(Continued)

NORMAN —

At some point during the long sleepless night, you eventually doze off, but the second after you do, the alarm rings.

Time to play Beat the Clock. If your alarm is set to ring several times until it pesters you awake, then just pound it into submission. Eventually, it will stop ringing. At that point, you are more or less ready to face another day or you fall into a deep sleep and end up late for work, but rested.

Now, if you are not too particular where you sleep, there is a fool proof solution for your insomnia.

Just turn on the television, find an animal program on subjects like: “Lady Lions Hunt while Lazy Butt King Lounges;” “The Wildebeest Migration: From One Buffet to Another;” “Baby Leopards Play Hide-n-Seek with Hungry Hyenas;” “Crocodiles Bobbing for Wildebeests at River Crossing,” and other similar thrillers.

It is not so much that the topics are sleep-inducing, but rather the narrator’s tone of voice. For some illogical reason, the softest, most inflection free voices are chosen to narrate animal related films. Consequently, the brain-numbing drone of the male or female voice will have you curling into a kitten-like ball in your recliner, sucking dust off the ceiling before the second commercial comes on.

If you doubt me, just imagine that droning voice saying, “After the female lions kill the okapi, the male lion staggers to his feet with a here-comes-the-king-of-the-jungle roar and expects the females, who did all the work, to get out of his way until his belly is full. Only then are the females and the cubs allowed to pick at the leftovers.”

The words may be different but they produce the same results as does a soft-voiced hypnotist dangling a shiny object in front of a patient repeating, “You are getting sleepy … sleepy … sleepy … what is your bank account password … sleepy …sleepy.”

Elizabeth is a freelance writer and author. Check out her novel “The Dionysus Connection” on Amazon or ask your bookstore to order it for you. Visit her website, www.elizabethcowan.com.

For local news and more, subscribe to The Norman Transcript Smart Edition, or our print edition.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Features
  • Helping cat with first veterinarian visit

    Dear Dr. Fox: A stray kitty adopted me a couple months ago and has since been tamed enough that I have found a vet to neuter him and do some much-needed dental work. My fear is that the poor boy will be so traumatized by this ordeal that ...

    July 24, 2014

  • Veterans Corner needs volunteer to drive residents to OKC VA

    Veterans Corner volunteer of the week David Sudduth has been with us for the last eight years. He is a veteran of the U.S. Air Force who served during the Vietnam War. David and his wife, Carolyn, have had their home in the Newalla area ...

    July 23, 2014

  • Low-cost and free cell phone options for thrifty seniors

    Dear Savvy Senior, What are the cheapest cell phone options available today to seniors living on a shoestring budget? I only need it for occasional calls. — Seldom Calling Senior Dear Seldom, For financially challenged seniors who only ...

    July 22, 2014

  • Harrah residents at home in restored vintage camper

    Sulphur — David Wiegert was quick to help a couple of newbie campers at the Buckhorn Campground on Arbuckle Lake in the Chickasaw National Recreation Area. What Dave offered was badly needed advice on setting up travel trailers, where to ...

    July 20, 2014

  • Historic quilt from Noble on auction block

    An alert quilter and teacher is concerned about a vintage quilt from Noble that’s being auctioned on eBay....

    July 20, 2014

  • Bark for Life brings pets into fundraising

    Local American Cancer Society member and Norman Regional nurse is at it again, raising awareness for cancer patients with an event that gets people moving. “Bark for Life” is a noncompetitive walk that will be from 8 to 10 a.m. Saturday ...

    July 20, 2014

  • Deadline for entering United Way’s The Ride extended

    Kids ages 3 to 8 are getting ready to roll on their decked out big wheel tricycles in an effort to raise money for the United Way of Norman. The Ride, a big wheel race organized by First American Bank and other local businesses, is ...

    July 20, 2014

  • Fundraiser set

    The Apple Gold Group, a franchisee of Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill and Bar, will host a flapjack fundraiser July 26 at Applebee’s, 500 Ed Noble Parkway in Norman....

    July 20, 2014

  • Sculpture brings tornado-torn community together

    After the May 20 tornado tore through Moore in 2013, hundreds of families were left to pick up the pieces. And it was in these old, shattered pieces of people’s homes and scattered debris that two local artists found something new....

    July 20, 2014

  • Keep toddler’s hair short to help end hair-pulling habit

    Q: Since our daughter, now 2 years old, was born, we have lived with my parents. Being the first and only grandchild, she has been the center of attention. Several months ago, our son was born and we moved into our own home. Almost ...

    July 18, 2014