The Norman Transcript


September 20, 2013

Stop. Don’t sit on that

NORMAN — There are times when we have to wonder about “them.” They, of course, are always people other than us.

Is it possible that a large portion of the human inhabitants of this planet are walking around with empty craniums? If that is the case, then that vacant space is wasted and ought to be put to good use, such as storage for knickknacks. On the plus side, an empty cranium means that folks who are predisposed to engaging in frequent vehicular encounters of the crunchy kind will not suffer concussions, brain damage, and other brain-related injuries.

But if, in fact, everyone’s skull does contain a blob of gray matter, then we have to wonder why said gray matter is not put to use more often. As a matter of fact, such periodic stimulation of the gray matter could be considered beneficial accidents.

Mind you, this discussion has nothing to do with those so-called “blonde moments,” but rather the increasing condition we will refer to as “relaxed brain syndrome.” This is a condition experienced by those who engage the brain just enough to get by and not enough to overtax themselves. From time to time, they may use that soft blob of gray matter as a seat cushion.

How else can we explain lapses in reason and correctable errors? Surprisingly, those afflicted with relaxed brain syndrome belong to no particular social class, gender, or occupation. They simply allowed their gray matter to become flabby and smooth. Is it possible that their brains are simply incapable of doing any heavy mental lifting? Probably not, but they must be willing to try.

Let’s look at a few examples of relaxed brain syndrome.

A friend planned to make a pasta salad for dinner and purchased a box of Trio Italian pasta — a mixture of green, orange and white pasta. To simplify matters, there was a recipe for “Mediterranean Veggie Salad” on the box. Her frown of confusion became increasingly pronounced as she read the ingredients for the veggie salad, which included salami. Exactly what kind of vegetable is salami supposed to be? Is it a root or does it grow on trees? If it is a tree, I want one for the backyard.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
  • Norman resident honored as volunteer of the week

    Each week, we recognize a volunteer who is making a difference in the lives of veterans and surviving spouses in the area. This week’s volunteer has been making the trip each week to Goldsby for the last five years. I’m proud to say that ...

    April 23, 2014

  • Air travel tips for seniors with special needs

    Dear Savvy Senior, I would like to fly my elderly parents across the country next month for my daughter’s wedding but have some concerns about the flight. My mom has trouble walking long distances and my dad has COPD and needs an oxygen ...

    April 22, 2014

  • Couple with autistic children lead Thorn Bush Autism group

    For Leah and Christian Eisenbeis raising two children with Autism is not only a challenge but it’s been a blessing, too....

    April 20, 2014

  • Free pressure canner checks offered

    With warmer weather trying to get a grip on April’s temperatures, it’s time to get the dial on your pressure canner checked. This is a free service provided by the Cleveland County Extension Office, 601 E. Robinson St. in Norman....

    April 20, 2014

  • Norman artist pledges to continue painting until colors fade

    About five or six months ago, I came across an article in The Norman Transcript about local artist Almira Hill Grammer, who had a display of her work at the State Capitol....

    April 20, 2014

  • ‘Blood moon’ rising

    I guess we all have one thing in common right now. We survived a “blood moon.” What a whirlwind of a week. It seemed that, like Hillary Clinton, the universe was just tossing shoes at me left and right. Maybe it was a sign I need to slow ...

    April 20, 2014

  • What to know about use of BVO

    Q: I’ve heard about Brominated vegetable oil recently. Could you provide some more information? A: Brominated vegetable oil, also called BVO, is a food additive that is often used to keep citrus flavor emulsified in sodas and sports ...

    April 20, 2014

  • Blessing opens demo garden

    A blustery, gray day didn’t mute enthusiasm for the first Saturday of the spring season April 12 at the Cleveland County Master Gardeners demo gardens and the Norman Farm Market....

    April 20, 2014

  • OHCE members receive awards

    Cleveland County’s Oklahoma Home and Community Education members Carol Doner and Megan Doner were award winners at a recent OHCE District meeting in Mustang....

    April 20, 2014

  • Book signing set

    Author Jerry Webster, of Edmond, will sign copies of his book, “What Brings a Soldier to His Knees,” from 1 to 3 p.m. Saturday at Hastings Books, 2300 W. Main St....

    April 20, 2014