The Norman Transcript


November 1, 2013

Halloween tales

NORMAN — In case you have the tendency to spend more time in your ivory tower than with other humans, we are well into the Halloween season. As a matter of fact, by the time you read this column, the witchy season will have slipped by and we are sliding at breakneck speed toward the Increase the Girth and Ugly Fowl holiday.

Since we live in the country (and I am not divulging what country or what planet for that matter), the trick or treat goblins bypass us. Well, almost all of them. There are a few cheeky coyotes, well-armored armadillos and country kittens (a.k.a. skunks) that show up to aggravate the dogs. Of course, the country kittens tend to show up year round and add that je ne sais quoi perfume to the area.

Where we live, Halloween decorations are a bust before the idea pops into our fertile little heads because the house is on a hill and the winds blows most of the time. Also, there is good old Spaz. This dog must believe it is his mission in life to seek and destroy any and all decorations.

Imagine a carved pumpkin after it has gone a few rounds with a rambunctious dog that never outgrew the puppy stage. Not an aesthetically pleasing sight. Spaz also is quite persistent in showing his displeasure when we line the driveway or the flowerbeds with pretty solar lights. As quick as you can say “crush and destroy” is about how long it takes that critical dog to demolish the lights. And by demolish, I mean teeth marks sunk deep into broken lights.

Maybe I should dress the dog in a black cape, a mask and tie a sword to his overactive tail. Then he could spend Halloween as Spaz-Zorro.

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