The Norman Transcript

May 27, 2013

Little things that bug me


The Norman Transcript

NORMAN — Editor, The Transcript:

Just another day in Norman.

Sometimes I like to write about things that bug me — you know, just little things most people never talk about.

We ration water, which I think is a very good idea, but a few select members of our neighborhood have wells. I guess they want everyone to know it because my street resembles the Snake River in Idaho.

I have one of those new toilets that conserve water (sometimes too much). I got to my shower and the shower head is bigger than a trash can lid. Sometimes I wonder about our priorities.

Speaking of priorities, last year during tornado season, we had one close to our house. My wife headed to the bathtub seeking safety, but I’d already placed Margaret, my guitar, gently in the tub. My wife was madder than me at the gas pump.

Speaking of gas, at $4 per gallon, I pick up the hose and drain it into my tank, then empty the ash tray of loose change paying for it. Someone’s robbing us without a gun.

Oh, I heard the Wynnewood refinery is in short supply. I wonder if our reserves will last. Give me a break.

That’s as bad as some of the new cars, I won’t say which ones, that no longer have spare tires. Instead, they give you a can of fix-a-flat. Now that’s downright cold.

Speaking of cold, have you visited the beer cooler at our local grocery store? It’s so cold, my glasses fogged over. I then stumbled in the door looking for my wife. She was in there for something called hot flashes, whatever that is. I shopped a little while in there, then stepped out in the parking lot and the heat was so bad, I had a hot flash myself.

Last month, while putting on clean socks, I started to notice I had more left socks than right (no, just kidding). But I was running short on socks. I just purchased socks recently.

Later that week while working in the flower bed, I dug up one of my socks, then another and another. Sophie, my Jack Russell, had been stealing my socks from the laundry room and burying them. I guess she thought it was something dead. You pay for owning a hunting dog.

Well, I hope I gave you a smile today. God bless you and God bless America.

Jim Barger

Norman