The Norman Transcript

September 23, 2012

Questions need answering


The Norman Transcript

NORMAN — Editor, The Transcript:

Re: Chickens in the backyard.

This is so exciting! In just a few short weeks, God willing and the creek don’t rise, we’ll all be allowed to have chickens in our backyards.

What better way to beat the high cost of KFC than to grow your own extra crispy breasts and thighs in your backyard?

Raising chickens and preparing them for dinner will teach our children about sharing the tasks involved.

Who will pluck the chickens? What shall we do with the innards? When the bird has been cooked, who gets the drumsticks? Who gets the wings and the neck? Who will get the breasts?

Here is my concern. Our city council has to address the issue of the permissible ways to kill our chickens when they are ready to be made into hot wings.

Obviously, we can’t shoot our chickens because it is against the law to discharge a firearm in city limits.

We can’t poison them to death because the poison would show up in the drumsticks.

Is it OK if we wring the neck of the chicken? That is what my mother did to chickens in our backyard when we lived in Tampa, Fla.

Or do we chop their heads off with a hatchet? (That was my father’s preferred method of execution.)

Also, whichever method we choose, would it be OK to kill the chicken in the presence of minor children?

It is necessary to resolve the killing question before we pass the chicken law. Otherwise, some pesky ol’ neighbor will be on the phone to the police department yelling about cruelty to animals.

OSHER BACHRACH

Norman

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