The Norman Transcript


September 1, 2013

Keep flying high

NORMAN — Editor, The Transcript:

I recently took a trip to Idaho and I wanted to share my experience with you. We arrived at the airport at 6 a.m. and was stripped searched at 6:15 a.m.

Did you ever take your belt and shoes off and hold your hands above your head in the X-ray machine because your pants fall down when your hands are above your head like you were going to do jumping jacks.

I finally started to board and looked for my wife and she was busted — held back because of a mysterious object found in her carry-on (felony) jar of huckleberry jelly. I’m real glad we weren’t transporting biscuits, or we would have been locked up. I wonder what they really do with this after confiscating it.

We stepped onto the plane and were greeted very kindly while coming aboard. I was wearing my cowboy hat which had to be removed because my head hit the top of the airplane.

Crouched over with a bottle of water in my pocket trying not to crush my hat, I fell into my seat. I then yelled, “my water just broke,” and the lady beside me said, “I didn’t realize that was possible,” as she was laughing. I then assumed the fetal position for our flight.

An hour or so into the flight, I began to smell a mysterious odor. This dude in front of me had removed his tennis shoes. It was too early for de-scent. I was getting really upset and my wife asked me to calm down.

I turned the fan on and directed it on my nose for fresh air. A lady was sitting behind me with her three year old child. The little innocent child said, “mommy, I think somebody poo-pooed.” I started laughing. Now that was funny.

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