The Norman Transcript

January 11, 2013

Divorce heavily affects children in the family


The Norman Transcript

NORMAN — Q: My wife and I have discussed divorce several times. Our situation is not a good one, but we still have children at home. We have decided to stay together until the children are out of our house. I can see the pain in my son’s eyes when we fight. Do you have any experience, knowledge or advice as to how we should be handling this situation? Thanks for anything you can tell me.

— James, of Norman

Dear James,

We would like to start by saying we would not wish divorce on our worst enemy. It is horrific and damaging to all involved. With that being said, children who grow up in a volatile home are obviously being affected negatively. Counseling for all involved is never a bad thing. We have known several instances where it’s much harder on the kids to see parents fighting in front of them with the pretense of staying together for them.

Honestly, kids would much rather see their parents apart and happy instead of together and miserable. It’s much more peaceful for everyone involved. Both of you can still (and should) be very active parents. You can attend activities and support your children in whatever they do.

Agree that the kids did not cause the trouble between the two of you and never make them feel as though they did. Keep your differences between the two of you. The best advice we can give divorced parents is to not ever talk badly about the other parent in front of the children and to stay involved in their children’s lives.

Q: My daughter definitely has a case of senioritis, and we are only halfway through the school year. Help!

— Raquel, of Noble

Dear Raquel,

As high school counselors, we wish we could help. Senioritis is a real affliction, and anyone who thinks otherwise is so wrong. Encourage your daughter to continue doing her best because even though colleges look at a seven-semester transcript for admission purposes, they will still want a completed eight-semester transcript.

Attendance is crucial for seniors. Unfortunately, if they turn 18 before the year ends, they can check themselves out of school. Continue to impress upon her the importance of school. She is still setting habits. Hopefully to make you feel better, we both have senioritis stories with our own children. All graduated, thankfully, and all lived through it — barely.

One of Jeannie’s kids hated everyone and everything about school and very much rebelled at any authority figure. One of Sally’s children announced on the first day of her senior year that there were only 185 more days to go.

Just enjoy each and every day because the time goes by so quickly.

Jeannie and Sally are certified school counselors with 49 years combined educational experience. Jeannie has two children, Sally three. The responses presented don’t necessarily represent the views of any certain school district. Please send questions to questions.classact@gmail.com.

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