NORMAN — This year’s Mother’s Day marks a significant one for me: It’s my first being inducted into the holiday as a mama myself.
Though my babe is still in utero, my mind often wanders into the age old question of whether or not I’ll make a decent mom.
Truth is, I haven’t the slightest idea. Time will tell.
What I can say, definitely, is that I don’t have to worry. If I take my cues from my own mom and other mothers in my life — I’ll be golden.
For my own mother, mothering is a carefully calculated balance between spontaneous, nonsensical whimsy and a no-nonsense optimistic approach towards life’s trials.
I’ll never understand when people gasp in exasperation about turning into their mother. My mom totally rocks. If I turn out anything like her, I know my own daughter will have a life filled with magical moments and an overarching sense of peace and self-assurance.
Mom, your voice is still the tone my inner-dialogue takes. When I’m chastising myself, it’s your voice I hear. I laugh now remembering the moments I received short lectures from you when I had disappointed you. From my childhood perspective, they were moments of deepest shame. The irony is you probably didn’t give these life lessons a second thought. But I still carry them with me. I hope I hardly disappoint you now.
But more importantly, Mom, when I’m encouraging myself — it’s you I hear. It’s you I hear telling me, “If you can do something about it, don’t worry about it. If you can’t do something about it, don’t worry about it.”
You have taught me to find joy in the journey, even when the road is inexplicably difficult — just by being yourself. That is a gift I still use every day. I will never be able to fully thank you for that.