The Norman Transcript

November 16, 2013

When it comes to moderation, let your conscience be your guide

The Norman Transcript

NORMAN — Editor, The Transcript:

Did you ever ask yourself, if I could choose how long I could live what would be my choice? Now you know and I know only the good lord calls those shots. My father lived to be 95 and my mother is still living at 93, God bless them both.

Dad’s last five years on this earth he started every morning with half a beef frank and a bowl of oatmeal, it worked for him. I hope I can live that long, but only with sound mind and some quality of life, if not let me push up those daisies. Now my doctor says my eating habits are terrible and I must agree, but when I was a kid I couldn’t afford a cheeseburger. Now that I can afford one they say I am too old to eat it.

We went over my health chart and I felt like I might die before I reached the parking lot. He did admit some of my problems might be my age. I realize the doctor’s job is to extend your life as long as possible. That’s good, but if I have to be miserable the rest of my life, let’s re-evaluate this problem. Our government is trying to do away with all trans fats and that’s good for people on a diet because everything that is healthy tastes like cardboard.

Cook a big pot of pinto beans without that big ham hock, my dog wouldn’t even eat them. My popcorn at the movies had five flavors of salt all the butter one can imagine it costs $5. Mmm good. That large soda, I call it my diabetes drink. It costs as much as Lipitor or Crestor or whatever. I say if you’re going to pay for it, eat it, but in moderation. My definition of moderation is let your conscience be your guide.

Let’s discuss how we’re going to live. Maybe ten more years, but only eight if you don’t watch your diet. My rule is just eat with some moderation. Enjoy what few years you have left on this earth because without joy you have nothing. In my obituary please write Jim went to his heavenly father today. While on this earth he enjoyed cheeseburgers, hot wings and bacon. They’ll all gather to celebrate my life. If I didn’t enjoy it why celebrate?

Instead of flowers just place a big chicken fried steak, with fries covered in gravy, on the lid of my casket. Listen real close you’ll hear me say mmm good, and oh, by the way, BYOB. Can I hear an amen?



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