The Norman Transcript

Opinion

December 15, 2012

Fatherhood brings language adjustment

NORMAN — I swear that I am not a profane person. However, good football games and bad drivers foul up my language. I am not alone in letting a few swear words fly.

Novelist Samuel Butler called profanity “a kind of prayer.”

Literary critic Cyril Connolly said vulgarity is “the garlic in the salad of taste.”

It’s also been said that swearing is “what is said when one doesn’t know what to say.”

Then along came our daughter — my little potty-mouth defuser.

Whoever said television is a passive experience never watched football at our house.

Far from an armchair quarterback, I follow my team up and down the field — literally.

If it’s fourth and inches, I’m millimeters from the TV screen.

Then there is all the yelling at players, coaches, refs, game announcers; no one is safe from my verbal onslaught.

Then along came our daughter — my little mute button.

Now I must chagrin and bear it when the Detroit Lions fumble at the goal line.

I desperately want to blurt out grammatically incorrect obscenities, but I bite my tongue.

I’ve actually drawn blood.

Driving can also make me veer into curse-word tirades.

Overall, my behind-the-wheel attitude is more avenue annoyance than road rage.

My driving posture changes, however, when I merge onto a busy expressway. Mr. Nice Guy takes a backseat.

My defensive driving turns offensive in nature. I am not above vindictive horn honking and sardonic hand gestures.

Then along came the driving life force buckled up behind me.

Now I curb my tongue when oblivious Reginald Van Dough cuts me off in his fancy SUV.

I simply put the car on cruise control and mumble a verse of “Found a Peanut.”

Another little thing that fatherhood changed is my tolerance of insects. Ants, flies, aphids, beetles — they all bugged me.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Opinion
  • Norman should act wisely

    Editor, The Transcript: The fact that the city of Norman sells water for oil/gas drilling (or any other purpose) for less than half what they pay Oklahoma City when buying water, and while Norman residents are on rationing, is an act of ...

    April 18, 2014

  • There’s no need to fix system that’s working

    Lawmaker attempts to alter the way judges are selected are being challenged by the state’s lawyers. More than 1,800 signatures on a state bar association petition urging a “no” vote on Senate Joint Resolution 21 have been gathered in just ...

    April 18, 2014

  • On the side of openness

    Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin has been criticized for failing to release emails and other information sought by press outlets who believe it was covered under the state’s Open Records Act. Now, Fallin is coming down on the side of keeping the ...

    April 18, 2014

  • A raise for troopers, but what about others?

    Oklahoma Highway Patrol troopers could see an increase in their paychecks during the state’s next fiscal year, which begins in July....

    April 17, 2014

  • Fallin should help residents

    Editor, The Transcript: I see this week that our empty skirt of a governor asked the federal government (small business administration) for much money. She is concerned about the suffering of the business owners in Lexington and Purcell ...

    April 17, 2014

  • Top honors for NPS

    Top honors keep rolling in for both of Norman’s high schools. The district learned this past week that Norman High School and Norman North High School have been recognized as two of the most rigorous high schools in the country and in the ...

    April 16, 2014

  • Wind power bursting

    There are a few wind generators dotting the Norman skyline, but western and northwestern Oklahoma makes up for the deficit here. An industry group this week said Oklahoma ranks fourth nationally in the amount of wind-generated ...

    April 16, 2014

  • First, do no harm — to your bank account

    After being sued by the Wall Street Journal, the government finally released its Medicare reimbursement data last week. It included the less-than-stunning revelation that 28 of the 100 doctors who received the largest payments in 2012 were ...

    April 15, 2014

  • Reading between the lines

    Reading is such an improbable idea — a miracle, really. Yet simple squiggles on a page, arranged just so, can convey ideas that change the way we think or introduce to us characters we love for a lifetime. In celebration of reading — and ...

    April 15, 2014

  • CCFI tackling area’s child abuse problem

    Editor, The Transcript: To those of you who are reading this editorial, I assume you care or at least are entertained by the opinions of others. It is my hope and desire that when you read this editorial, you will care about the facts. ...

    April 12, 2014