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Opinion

July 13, 2013

Delving into hobbies

NORMAN — Some hobbies provide unusual experiences. Human storytelling enlarges them more.

Ward and his fiancee wish to be married skydiving.

Megan and Ward open the airplane hatch to get ready. Ward’s friend, the minister for their ceremony, now sees how far he is from the ground and begins to sweat.

Megan and Ward jump. The preacher closes his eyes and follows, but his parachute accidentally opens. Worried, he grabs the straps. His papers go floating away.

“Oh, no!”

Ward lip syncs, “What now?”

“I’m OK,” the minister shouts. “Here goes the ceremony ... Mumble, mumble, mumble, do you, Megan, take Ward to be your husband?”

Confused, Megan pulls the ‘chute cord sooner. “Yes!” she shouts, wobbling in the air.

“Ward, how about you?” the preacher shouts.

“Yes!”

Megan and Ward embrace while floating slowly downward.

“What did all that ‘mumble’ stuff mean?” Ward says to his friend later.

“I lost my notes. But I said all the words plainly in my heart.”

Some try spelunking.

“Lillian insisted we try the cave thing,” Mat tells his work buddy, “but it wasn’t for us.”

“What happened?”

“Well, it turns out I’m allergic to things that live in caves.”

“You mean bats?”

“I mean bats, bears or robbers or anything else that flies, walks or crawls.”

“You’re afraid, then.”

“I prefer ‘allergic.’”

Others relax by hiking and mountain climbing. Mary and Dave love gazing down into a valley from a mountaintop.

Mary hesitates sometimes.

“I’m afraid these rocks are a little loose.”

She backs away from the ledge.

“Don’t be chicken,” Dave teases. He continues to point out scenes below.

In the gathering darkness, a large figure appears on the trail.

“Bear!” Mary screams.

Dave recovers nicely from his fall off the cliff. His dignity is left intact by the claim he saved Mary from a bear. They’ll never know the “bear” was a game warden coming to tell them the park was closing.

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