The Norman Transcript

Opinion

September 24, 2013

Test your true self with reality TV

(Continued)

NORMAN —

And maybe I’ll start believing folks are introverted and non-judgmental as soon as I stop listening to talk radio and reading stuff online.

The big news, however, is that I’ve discovered a way to replace those personality tests clogging the self-actualization, leadership and motivation market.

From now on, deep personality structure will be catalogued by using Gina’s Reality TV Matrix: In this scenario, your temperament and identity are defined by the tackiest reality shows you watch.

Participants will be divided into categories. We’ll have the “Hoarders, Teen Mom, Catfish” category, otherwise known as the “Too Much Is Not Enough” group. We’ll have a “Doomsday Preppers, Duck Dynasty, Breaking Amish” consortium for those who are adamant about being able to exist in multiple environments simultaneously.

A third group might fall under the “Toddlers And Tiaras, Honey Boo Boo, Dance Moms” aegis. Although this does not mean you are automatically put on the predator list, it does mean you need to start saving for therapy, either your own or your offspring’s.

You’ll assemble a startlingly accurate personality profile based on your selection from each category.

Let’s say you’re a “Duck Dynasty,” “Toddlers and Tiaras,” plus “Pawn Stars” type: you are, therefore, a Domestic Striver, a person with an eye toward putting the value in family values. You like glitter and camo.

Part of the “Dance Moms,” “Teen Mom” and “Doomsday Preppers” constituency? You’re an Apocalypse Hipster, not only believing the world is coming to an end but sort of rooting for it. You like sweat pants and canned goods.

Is “American Pickers,” “Breaking Amish” and “Honey Boo Boo” your signature combo? You’re a Self-Maker, ready for whatever life, or your audience, throws at you, which could be messy. You have a fondness for drama and rust.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Opinion
  • Tax free starts today

    A few years ago, Oklahoma shoppers were getting used to driving south to take advantage of Texas’ tax-free weekend. The outlet mall on Interstate 35 near Gainesville was packed with as many Oklahoma tagged cars as those from Texas....

    August 1, 2014

  • Just wondering about things

    Editor, The Transcript: Why are our companies still investing so much in China, now that they own over a trillion dollars of our debt? Why is China pouring billions into their military and threatening many of their neighbors? Why don’t we ...

    August 1, 2014

  • Top conservatives, liberals

    Three local lawmakers made the lists of top 10 conservatives and top 10 liberals in the Oklahoma Constitution’s 2014 Conservative Index. Editor Steve Byas reported that it’s the 36th year for the publication’s index....

    August 1, 2014

  • Marijuana a gateway for new OK voters

    A poll this past year showed significant Oklahoma support for legalizing the use of marijuana for medicinal purposes. The poll showed that more than 71 percent of those surveyed thought medical marijuana was appropriate for patients who ...

    July 31, 2014

  • Expansion effect evaluated

    Editor, The Transcript: The effect of the Medicaid expansion rejection and acceptance on hospitals’ uncompensated costs are now being evaluated....

    July 31, 2014

  • America paying the piper

    Every third American you pass on the street has debts that have been turned over to a collection agency whose 140,000 workers are keeping the phones ringing....

    July 31, 2014

  • State is No. 2 in barbecue

    Americans love the marriage of smoke, fire and meat, but geography plays a part in how strong the passion is. Estately Blog has created a map charting which states are home to the most barbecue enthusiasts. Oklahoma comes in at No. 2 in ...

    July 30, 2014

  • Community Action mostly closed due to cutbacks

    Editor, The Transcript: The Community Action, at 1155 E Main St. in Norman, for decades has served Cleveland County with the following everyday services: a food pantry, short-term housing for the homeless, providing rides for those without ...

    July 30, 2014

  • Keep guns off campus

    Some Oklahoma lawmakers just won’t let the issue of allowing handguns on campus to go away. A joint legislative study will take a look at campuses around the nation to see if there is a way to accommodate faculty, staff and students who ...

    July 30, 2014

  • Improving children’s lives

    Social service organizations that have long-term debt for their headquarters and operating needs often spend much of their fundraising efforts meeting those obligations....

    July 29, 2014