The Norman Transcript

October 13, 2013

Some things will never change

The Norman Transcript

NORMAN — Editor, The Transcript:

I must admit my golden years are plated instead of 14 carat. I am always amazed how our medical field has made such progress in some areas and backslid like a Baptist caught dancing in others.

I recently went to see my eye doctor and he determined I was suffering from dry eye.

I recieved a bottle of eye drops that were $100 a bottle. This bottle wasn’t bigger than grama’s thimble, and I was so afraid I’d miss my eye when I put them in that I asked my wife to assist me. One went in one eye and the other in my ear.

Now I don’t have to worry about dry ear. That $20 was a misused earmark.

I once had a friend that went to Mexico to save money on his medical needs. He returned with a trunk load of Preparation H. I couldn’t imagine what in the world he needed that much Preparation H for unless he was dealing crack... and I don’t think he would stoop that low. He said his wife used it for her wrinkles, she must have more wrinkles than a Shar-Pei dog.

You talk about false advertisement, a two ounce bottle of pills has four ounces of cotton and six pills. With a bottle that no one can open without a bottle of vice grips.

Then there’s the downright funny meds with side effects worse than the ailment. A pill that makes you romantic at 70 years old? Really? I looked in the mirror recently; my chest is hanging over my belt, and when I shave, something jiggles under my arm that looks like a water balloon. While shaving I took off my glasses and almost cut my throat, but let’s not forget those side effects: thinking we are 20 years old, swinging from a chandelier, feeling faint, blue vision, vomiting, breast enlargement, heart attack, and prostate cancer. Are we having fun yet?

Let’s just accept that some things will never change and go get an ice cream cone with our honeys, laughing when it falls in our laps.

Jim Barger