Principle No. 4: Forgiveness is something you do. There actually is a concrete, tangible way to create the healing. The technique involves returning in your mind to the memory of the original hurt and seeing the person(s) as someone weak and fallible, and separating what they did from who they are. For example, “_______ is weak and fallible and subject to human error. What _______ did is horrible and despicable, but who _______ is is someone deeply and incredibly loved by God.” These statements are repeated over and over until you know all of the pebbles are gone.
Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do, it’s just an important thing to do. Understanding that forgiveness is a tool God designed for our personal good helps make some sense out of Jesus’ recommendation to forgive seventy times seven if necessary. He wanted us to have peace in spite of the circumstances outside our control, like the free-will choice of someone else to hurt us.
We have all been hurt in personal, deep, and unfair ways or we will be in the future. Hope you find the peace and healing you were intended to enjoy.