I felt I deserved a pass on my walk back up the hill of death. I felt this way so passionately that I began to pray out loud to Jesus about how I should get a little help here. I had sacrificed a week of my life. I had spent my money to go. I had pushed through a sickness. I put in extra time with the orphans. I wanted the pain to be taken away and be magically transported to my dorm.
On my way up, I passed the surgical center. There were a lot of amputation surgeries from the earthquake, and this is where the patients stayed post-op.
As I walked by, there was a man with no legs managing his way down this hill on crutches. His newly made stumps were covered in gauze and his eyes focused on each maneuver he had to make.
He looked up just in time for us to lock eyes. He smiled and gave me the traditional Haitian greeting. He was happy, full of energy it seemed. I had never felt so small.
Here I am complaining about my legs, my aching body, being amazingly selfish. Here I encounter a man who has lost so much and yet still seems to have joy in his heart. The pulse and theme of my prayer changed instantly.
Humbled is the word that we like to use, but to be honest, it was more than humility. I knew God was listening and wanted me to see that my situation wasn’t as bad as I was making it out to be.
Many of us walk through this life feeling as though we got the short end of the stick. We feel we deserve more. The honest truth is we have all we need in Christ. We don’t deserve anything.