There are moments when our minds, released from worldly cares, allow us to contemplate the deeper questions in life.

Naturally, the process is rarely serene or successful, but the effort builds character (or so I am told). With that goal before us, walk with me and let's reflect upon navel lint and other burning questions together.

The alarm blasts you from the arms of Morpheus (the Greek god of dreams) and your instinctive response is to smack the snooze button over and over again. After a restful doze you realize that you have overslept.

Question one: Why do we seem to get the best sleep after the alarm is smacked into silence? Does vanquishing the alarm monster help us to relax?

When you get on an elevator are you lost in thought or just plain zoning? The elevator dings and the doors open. At this point, our auto-response mechanism kicks in and we either exit on the wrong floor; or we stop ourselves just in time (usually in mid stride) and feel embarrassed because, of course, the elevator is full. There is no smooth way to cover up such an indecisive move and few people like to be embarrassed.

Question two: Do such situations make you feel like one of Pavlov's dogs? Not a desirable comparison is it? Are we becoming more like androids than human; a bit too robotic for our own good? Or, is our inattentiveness an unpleasant indicator of life as we know and live it?

Since we spend far too much time in our cars, it is inevitable that some of our questions revolve around traffic.

Hey you selfish troglodyte. Do not fill in my gap. Do you intentionally leave space between your car and the one in front of you for safety reasons? Of course, the temptation for other drivers is always there to morph into traffic wedgies and fill in that safety gap.

Question three: How often during an extended drive period do you wish you drove a mini tank or a monster truck so that you could smash into or gently drive over such irritating and impolite drivers?

Now here is the important part. Can it really be wrong to make like a pest control engineer and squash such traffic vermin like bugs? (It seems more like a humanitarian gesture to me.)

Question four: Why do caravans of semi trucks, large construction and farm combine equipment pick rush hour to go joyriding? Is there a secret e-mail or text message send to the drivers of such vehicles to coordinate a maximum traffic back up?

On our drive home, my sister and I were chatting on our cell phones and then she began to scream in the language of the uncouth.

A fastidious old codger nearly collided head on with her car. The fellow swerved into oncoming traffic to avoid some over-zealous sprinklers that were watering the street. It was obvious he did not want to get his car wet.

Question five: In the grand scheme of things did he weigh the countless consequences of causing an accident versus the minor inconvenience of an unscheduled car dampening? If not, why not?

A large bumper sticker on an SUV proclaimed: "Too God Be The Glory."

Which brings us to our final question (for the time being): If you are going to display a sign on your vehicle, why embarrass yourself with poor spelling? Or, which is even worse, did you think two "Os" sounded more enthusiastic?

If you have convincing answers or explanations for any or all of the foregoing, please take a moment to share your wisdom with the rest of us.

In the meantime, we can continue to ponder the imponderable and slowly pull our hair out.

Elizabeth is a freelance writer and former Norman resident. E-mail her at

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